- So, I'm a cheater - she said, very bravely. - I'm a selfish cheater, and I can't expect you to be a good man for me, as I can't be, myself, a good woman. I know you've been...
- I never though about you like that, but it's true - he took a deep breath, passing his hands through his ginger long hair. - You cheated on me, left me, and I acted like a fool, trying to be the best man in the world to have you back. I can't understand how did you get me to do this, but you did, somehow. But I don't believe that my foolish behavior shows me that I love you truly.
- I know that - she still couldn't look at him. - I'm aware that someone making us change isn't always a proof of true love. And the truth is that... I don't really know if I believe you when you say that you changed for me, for having me back. Because I've been telling you for years what I though you...
- I didn't know you were right until I start to do these things - he took a cigarette, giving one to her too. They both started to smoke, avoiding eye contact, hearts beating fast, both not believing that they were finally having this conversation. This was what they had been keeping to themselves for several years, and they couldn't miss the opportunity to bring these things to the surface. - When I got back to my job, when I started to stay sober, my life changed, and suddenly I really had a reason to live.
- Which was...?
- Getting better. Being a better person, showing you this, eventually having you back, having a better life, a life I always dreamed about, maybe finally have our children... But you keep on slipping away. I'm growing weaker and weaker, my dear. Every single day I have to remind myself a reason to keep fighting, a reason to not go back to the easy life I had before, the life in which I lost you. I'm about to complete fifty years. Fifty! Yet, I'm not giving up on reconstructing my life, even though I'm not sure anymore that it's about you, I must be honest.
- You're right about it.
- About what? - he leaned back at the window, looking outside to the great pool on the grass.
- About it all... Your life... Your life not being about me anymore. You're absolutely right.
- Why?
- Because it's time, I guess.
- If it's time, why are you still using the ring?
- I just... just love it, it's green and lovely. I'd never find another one like this. And after all, you use yours too. I can see it, even though you hide it by putting bigger rings above it.
- I may use it - said him, sharply. - I've been fighting for us, never backing down until today. Now I just don't know anymore. You don't even look at me.
- I can't, I just... can't - said her very low, barely breathing. - I guess, well, I guess I don't love you anymore.
A huge silence fell upon them. Now that she had said it out loud, the pain was unbearable in both of them. She was breathless, he was stunned. He could have expected anything but this, not from her, not in their bedroom, not where they were so deeply bound that they actually believed that nothing could separate them. What was the use of all the years together, so? If things were supposed to be like this, why all the struggle, all the suffering, all the time wasted in efforts to avoid the awful perspective of a life separate? She was throwing his own life away, that was all he could think and feel. His little girl, his beautiful and unexpected wife, the one he could ever hurt, the only one he always believed that worth fighting for, was being his destroyer.
- It took me a lot to stay away from you, to stay... sober. It wasn't easy to live across the ocean, facing my troubles, trying to make things right...
- Hurting someone else to get on with your life, as always! - yelled him, furious. - Why can't you just be strong? Why do you have to let people down, ALWAYS AND ALWAYS DESTROY SOMEONE? I KNOW YOU MORE THAN ANYONE, YOU... YOU...
He had took her by the hair, holding her face strongly close to his own.
- NOW YOU LOOK AT ME BITCH, LOOK ME IN THE EYES, OR ARE YOU SO FUCKING COWARD THAT YOU CAN'T DO THIS?
She finally looked at him, without fear. And suddenly she wanted to just... just die. She could not bear to look at his eyes, his amazing blue eyes, and not feel the wild passion she always felt for him. It was a unpredictable and completely unbearable despair. She never thought of a life without him, and suddenly she had it, and suddenly she just didn't need him anymore, and she left him. He was completely right, she was a coward bitch, she used him and, while she was young and still had a long life ahead, she was leaving him with a destructed life while he was about to complete fifty years. It was unfair, dirty, wrong and unexplainable. For a long time, she kept staring into his eyes and -
- I never though about you like that, but it's true - he took a deep breath, passing his hands through his ginger long hair. - You cheated on me, left me, and I acted like a fool, trying to be the best man in the world to have you back. I can't understand how did you get me to do this, but you did, somehow. But I don't believe that my foolish behavior shows me that I love you truly.
- I know that - she still couldn't look at him. - I'm aware that someone making us change isn't always a proof of true love. And the truth is that... I don't really know if I believe you when you say that you changed for me, for having me back. Because I've been telling you for years what I though you...
- I didn't know you were right until I start to do these things - he took a cigarette, giving one to her too. They both started to smoke, avoiding eye contact, hearts beating fast, both not believing that they were finally having this conversation. This was what they had been keeping to themselves for several years, and they couldn't miss the opportunity to bring these things to the surface. - When I got back to my job, when I started to stay sober, my life changed, and suddenly I really had a reason to live.
- Which was...?
- Getting better. Being a better person, showing you this, eventually having you back, having a better life, a life I always dreamed about, maybe finally have our children... But you keep on slipping away. I'm growing weaker and weaker, my dear. Every single day I have to remind myself a reason to keep fighting, a reason to not go back to the easy life I had before, the life in which I lost you. I'm about to complete fifty years. Fifty! Yet, I'm not giving up on reconstructing my life, even though I'm not sure anymore that it's about you, I must be honest.
- You're right about it.
- About what? - he leaned back at the window, looking outside to the great pool on the grass.
- About it all... Your life... Your life not being about me anymore. You're absolutely right.
- Why?
- Because it's time, I guess.
- If it's time, why are you still using the ring?
- I just... just love it, it's green and lovely. I'd never find another one like this. And after all, you use yours too. I can see it, even though you hide it by putting bigger rings above it.
- I may use it - said him, sharply. - I've been fighting for us, never backing down until today. Now I just don't know anymore. You don't even look at me.
- I can't, I just... can't - said her very low, barely breathing. - I guess, well, I guess I don't love you anymore.
A huge silence fell upon them. Now that she had said it out loud, the pain was unbearable in both of them. She was breathless, he was stunned. He could have expected anything but this, not from her, not in their bedroom, not where they were so deeply bound that they actually believed that nothing could separate them. What was the use of all the years together, so? If things were supposed to be like this, why all the struggle, all the suffering, all the time wasted in efforts to avoid the awful perspective of a life separate? She was throwing his own life away, that was all he could think and feel. His little girl, his beautiful and unexpected wife, the one he could ever hurt, the only one he always believed that worth fighting for, was being his destroyer.
- It took me a lot to stay away from you, to stay... sober. It wasn't easy to live across the ocean, facing my troubles, trying to make things right...
- Hurting someone else to get on with your life, as always! - yelled him, furious. - Why can't you just be strong? Why do you have to let people down, ALWAYS AND ALWAYS DESTROY SOMEONE? I KNOW YOU MORE THAN ANYONE, YOU... YOU...
He had took her by the hair, holding her face strongly close to his own.
- NOW YOU LOOK AT ME BITCH, LOOK ME IN THE EYES, OR ARE YOU SO FUCKING COWARD THAT YOU CAN'T DO THIS?
She finally looked at him, without fear. And suddenly she wanted to just... just die. She could not bear to look at his eyes, his amazing blue eyes, and not feel the wild passion she always felt for him. It was a unpredictable and completely unbearable despair. She never thought of a life without him, and suddenly she had it, and suddenly she just didn't need him anymore, and she left him. He was completely right, she was a coward bitch, she used him and, while she was young and still had a long life ahead, she was leaving him with a destructed life while he was about to complete fifty years. It was unfair, dirty, wrong and unexplainable. For a long time, she kept staring into his eyes and -
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